the ugliest time of the year

Christmas is over

The decorations are down (well except the big Santa and reindeer in our front yard, but they aren't plugged in anymore) and safely stored away in the attic

All the treats have been eaten and New Years resolutions to lose the weight were made and already broken

no longer getting cards in the mail

life seems to be getting back to normal--which is why I have to wonder:

WHY THE HECK DO I FEEL SO STINKING OUT OF WHACK?!?!?!

I mean seriously, I seemed to be go go go and don't remember most of December, January even seemed to speed by at record speeds, now it is February and I want to know what happened. I finally get a moment to breathe and to be truthfully honest I kind of want to pull Christmas back out of the attic just so there is something to look forward to. I am currently listening to a Christmas CD I put together in College hoping that maybe I can catch a glimmer of 'EXCITEMENT' and raise my spirits a little, it doesn't seem to be working, but it was a shot.

I sit here, today has definitely been an ordinarily one. Woke up and the power was out--which of course meant my C-pap machine wasn't working, which was the first thing I noticed, then I realized the heater wouldn't be working either--on one of the coldest mornings we have had this year--and if things couldn't get any better, the cold I felt in my throat yesterday was felt throughout my body this morning

so of course I did the only thing a girl should do and spent the entire morning sitting on my couch cuddled up in blankets, the power would come back on and then go off again so while it was on I made my husband and me some cream of wheat and some nice herb tea and we sat and watched the new harry potter on his laptop in case the power went out again. I totally forgot the bug guy was coming and sure enough wasn't even 'dressed' when he got here.

Dominic's usual ride home couldn't make it today, she told me yesterday and I thought we had an alternate worked out but she called to say she was having car trouble so after a nice little fight my husband just went and got him at noon to ensure he made it home (I wasn't going to walk in the freezing cold with a cold to get him at 3--hello that is not in my nature)

so now, I did finally get a bath and dressed and have spent the rest of the afternoon listening/watching my son play with his blocks wondering to myself just why can't I get my groove back? Why do I feel so defeated? why is it that even my dog sitting beside me makes me want to chuch her out the window? the only solution I can come to is--tis that time of the year! which time of the year? you may be wondering, we already established that Christmas is over, so what am I referring to? I'm referring to the:

wake up defeated, got 2 cars in the shop needing new transmissions, cat that needs to be fixed and chipped, medical assist dog in need of further training, son threw up all weekend long, husband works too many hours/jobs, I'm stuck at home with nothing to do but sit around and mope or get up and clean, my life is in such a predictable annoying rut, when will the dang sun come out and shine announcing that spring time is here cause I am tired of waiting so instead I will listen to Christmas music to further my denial blues 'time of the year'

in past years I would just work more of even better, go shopping to suppress my frustrations with the 'too cold to go outside and do anything productive blues' but this year neither of those thigs are options--last year I piratically gutted my house of 'crap' resulting in a couple massive yard sales and then a friend helped me decorate but now that I've been there and done that I am wondering what I will find to occupy my time this year

anybody got any good suggestions on what I can do to make 'this ugly time of the year' pass by faster because my attempt to sleep it away isn't getting me anywhere

we're back!!!!

I have to tell you that life has had its ups and down in 2010--sorry I had to go offline for a bit while an investigation went under way but now I am back and at it and looking to a brighter 2011. I have recruited the help of a friend, whom I love and you will to, unfortunately she currently doesn't have access to the internet but here is to hoping she gets it soon so you can enjoy getting to know her better through the many posts I hope she contributes.

A lot has definitely changed and I am going to back track about a few posts as time goes on, post pics and hopefully be able to catch you up before 2012. wish me luck

when I grow up.....

Yesterday Dominic was watching a movie about pilots and flying planes (I found it while organizing our movies last week) and he came in to update me on what he learned, I felt the need to blog this conversation so I didn't forget it (note, at this very moment he is in the bathroom trying to feel a balloon up with water, I heard it rupture and him mumble, 'my clean shirt', yeah, gotto remember these 'cute' moments)

"mom, so the guy on the show says when I grow up I can fly airplanes"

"Dominic you know I worked on airplanes when I grew up"

"oh yeah, but mom, you just sat in airplanes, I want to fly them" (I was a flight attendant)

I don't really remember how the conversation went after that, I was just so flabergasted by his 'yeah, but you just sat on the plane' anyhow, the conversation continued this morning cause he watched it again this morning...

"So mom, when I grow up, I want to fly airplanes, and you can sit in them and then we can work together, ok mom, ok?"

"ok, Dominic, sounds like a plan"

I hope when he grows up he learns a flight attendant does more than just sit in a plane or he is going to have a rough go as a pilot working with flight attendants cause they don't like pilots who don't think they do nothing, trust me, this I know.

cooking scret

I am going to share a cooking secret, one that took me 7 yrs of marriage to figure out, so huddle close cause I would hate for my husband to hear....a little closer, closer....no, this isn't the substitute applesauce for oil (which doesn't work for cookies by the way, it makes them too cake like in my experience) instead, this one is more a tactical then a healthy one, here it is:

When we were newly weds I was a horrible cook, even when I tried my best I still usually ended up either ruining the meal or giving my husband food poisoning, I remember cooking meals even the dog wouldn't eat, have you ever burnt corn? but those days not only seem to be over, my cooking has improved, so much that last night I made a meal from 'left overs' in the fridge, I used some fresh vegies (carrots, squash, celery), leftover base from the roast I made friday (which consisted of tomato sauce and tomato soup, which I cooked a roast, carrots, and an onion in, I also added a few seasons) and I added half a can of spaghetti sauce and boiled a package of egg noodles and added some water and then made grilled cheese sandwiches with Mexican melting cheese.

Now, when I went to serve it up I had flash backs from my 'early years' 'when I would serve something like this up and my husband would ask 'What is it?' and if I didn't have a name he would refuse to eat it cause he didn't trust my cooking and therefore didn't trust me (who would after I gave them food poisoning so many times) but he didn't even ask, he actually sat down and we said prayer and after prayer I warned my husband to like it but not to like it too much cause there was no way I could ever make it again (i.e. I didn't use a recipe, I seldom do and he knows this) he ate it anyways.

after he was finished he commented on how delicious it was, and it was also very nutritious, may I add, extremely high in Acid but most things I make are, which is probably why we have so many heart burn issues, but back onto the topic on hand, you are probably wondering just what my secret is, and to be truthfully honest, I guess there wasn't one, I just wanted to brag about how good my meal turned out last night

Schooled by a 4 yr old...

Oh My Goodness Gracious, the other day Dominic did the funniest thing ever, and I mean it was so hilarious and thought provoking and we all almost died laughing--well except the person he said it about, his feelings were a bit hurt--and I have been dying to tell you guys all about it, but I have yet to find the time, sooooo.......

The other day John, Dominic, Patrick (a teenage boy we know), and I were all driving to the Church to clean it, John is responsible for arranging people to come and clean our church and we do that on Mondays and Saturdays.  Usually I stay home Monday nights to watch TV and play on the Internet but this Monday night I decided to tag along and I am so grateful I did, because had I not I would have missed out on this...

So Patrick and I are talking about something or Patrick was telling us something, either way, Patrick said something to me and Dominic got all defensive and informed him that, "you don't say that to my mommy!"  and he meant it, it was so funny how he said it that we laughed our heads off, obviously not exactly the responsible thing to do because John and me laughing at that was probably what promoted his next comment about 3 minutes later.

Patrick was still talking and I heard Dominic mumble something and John told us all to be quiet so we could hear what Dominic was saying, it took Patrick a minute to get the hint, which only made what Dominic said even more hilarious (this may actually only be hilarious to those who know Dominic)....Anyhow, in Dominic's little 4 yr old boy voice he informed us, "I have some good news and some bad news"  and waited for us to ask what the bad news was, so we did, "The bad news is Patrick is with us" stunned by that comment we asked what the good news was (now understand that Dominic use to idolize Patrick until recently when Patrick got an attitude), "The good news is that Patrick can go home!"

Now the point that Dominic came up with that all on his own was amazing, specially considering he didn't turn 5 till the next day and that at his last check up the doctor reported that he was behind developmentally, I think for being a little 'slower' than the average 5 yr old, he sure as heck knows how to school a 15 yr old.....booya, Patrick (who I must say sat and pouted for a few minutes after Dominic's announcement)

The day I outsmarted an attorney (which wasn't hard to do)

Today a friend's comment on Facebook got me thinking about a meeting we had a few years ago....let me set it up for you.

In 2003 my husband and I bought our first house and moved out of our tiny apartment into this house.  My friend was moving into the house with us and helped us move out of our apartment since we were suppose to be into the house by Friday and yet closing took longer than expected and we weren't able to move out till Monday and so I had to go to work before the office opened and was unable to participate in the sign out process, so my friend was there to help my husband and was our witness to what went on, had it not been for her, I wouldn't have really known what happened, but she backed my husband's story so I knew they were telling the truth (or really good at lying).

Well, after a few months of living in this house we got a bill from the apartments, I went and talked to them and in short, we ended up having to meet with someone at a courthouse.  Now, we were suppose to pay a break lease fee, but when my husband offered to pay it they said we didn't need to pay it so we didn't, the fee was $600, they billed us for like $1,100 and said we had to pay that amount cause we never paid the break lease fee, we were only willing to pay the break lease fee.

So, the court date, or at least what the paperwork called the court date, came and we all met at the court house.  My friend and I were both pregnant, due about 2 weeks apart, we both had little tummies and we had both talked about this moment for a long time before showing up to go in front of a judge--turns out we weren't to go in front of a judge, we were meeting for mediation (a slight little oversight they didn't make in the paperwork.)  We were prepared to meet in front of a judge and so as their 'mediator'/attorney tried to pressure us to take his 'bargain' that he had to offer us, we refused.  He insisted that we either take the 'bargain' or he would be forced to take this matter infront of a judge--we told him to bring it and that we were happy to explain to a judge what our side of the story was.

Now, we sat in that tiny cramped room for well over 30 minutes.  The room was probably 6 ft by 6ft and round table in it barely fit, we sat next to the door because our little bellies prevented us from squeezing around the table.  John was there, and even said a few things when we first started but after about 5 or 10 minutes he ended up sitting in a corner just watching and waiting.  

I think my favorite part of this meeting was when the attorney started flicking a rubber-band he had on his wrist.  Now, I am not a retard, at the moment he started doing this I knew we had him.   Flicking a rubber band on your wrist was something I knew people did when they were stressed, and by him doing it I knew he was stressing, and being a little sister and having 7 siblings I knew once you could get someone to show signs of stress meant you only had to push a little further before they broke.

Now, my friend and me are reasonable people, but we will not be bullied and we will not step down when we know we are right, and I think had it come to it we would have fought the mob that day.  The tension was so strong in that room you could have cut it with a knife.  I am rather surprised neither of us went into labor because our blood pressures were surely through the roof, but we stayed calm and we stood our ground (mainly cause the room was so small and our tummies so big we could move had we wanted to.)

WE continued to state the same thing, and he continued to flick his rubber-band, then he left the room, he returned, offered us even more money off, we re-stated our offer, he left the room, returned with even more money off, flicking his rubber band as we re-stated our offer, he left the room, this went on for probably another 30 minutes, and when he returned with another offer and stated if we didn't accept that we would have to go to court and then would have to pay court costs we informed him we would only have to pay court costs if we lost and we didn't intend to lose, he flicked the rubber band faster and faster and left again and returned accepting our terms....

And that was why I should have been a lawyer instead of a CNA, cause at least I would have gotten paid a lot more for cleaning up other peoples crap....

Did you ever win a battle that seemed to be a defining moment in your life?  This surely seemed to be one for me, too bad I have yet to seek my legal degree, but one day I will, but those plans are a different story for a different day...

Anyhow, it is funny how I was able to stand my ground with that attorney and yet it is this little man who seems to have me eating out of his hands--I wonder where he gets it from?  Do you think he was taking notes that day?

by the way, his 5th birthday is almost here (DEC 15), hard to believe it has been 5 yrs.

Rebellious

To most who know me you wouldn't think I was the rebellious kind, because in most cases I am not at all rebellious, but I am also no angel.   In fact, I am rebellious in a way that only I know I am rebelling, want an example?  I will give you a few....

As a youth my mom was against watching TV during the day, we were either to be playing or doing something and if we couldn't find something to do she would give us something do to in the form of a chores,  so now as an adult I tend to always have a TV on in my house, even if there is nothing on TV that I would like to watch there is still a TV on just because as an adult I can watch TV whenever I want.

Now, I will admit that now I am a quarter of a century old that I have learned something in my old age of wisdom, and that is the simple fact that having TVs on in every room of the house costs money, and since I don't feel the need to waste money just to assert my independence and power as an adult living in my own home I have started to curve this rebellion--not because my mom doesn't approve, but because I have learned better.

Another one of my little rebellions is that as a child my mom refused to let us eat a sandwich unless it was cut, how it was cut she didn't really care, it just had to be cut before we could eat it.  I use to be so envious of those who could eat uncut sandwiches.  I despised cut sandwiches so much that learned how to make my own sandwich I would and try to eat it so quickly that my mom couldn't insist on me cutting it.  Even as an adult and mother I am very much against eating cut sandwiches, unless of course I am sharing it with someone, then I don't mind it being cut in half.  

Now, as much as I hate eating cut sandwiches, I have noticed that my son is now envious  of cut sandwiches and requests that I cut his sandwich, he even is specific about how he wants it cut--and I find it rather odd that every time I cut his sandwiches I cringe just a little remembering just how much I hated to have my sandwiches cut as a youth.

Now, Why such a random topic to discuss today?  Because I just got done cooking Ramen noodles for the kids which brings up another one of my rebellions--not breaking my noodles up!  I alway thought it was such an insult when my mom broke my noodles up before cooking them and would always beg her not to, she insisted though and my begging and pleading went unrewarded. I think I despise broken ramen noodles and spaghetti noodles just as much as I despise my sandwiches being cut.  I don't break up noodles, which has become a huge issue at our house because John (my loving but not so understanding about my weird little obsessions) insists that the noodles need to be broken because it is too hard for the kids to eat unless they are and it is easier to break them uncooked then to cut them up after cooking.

Well, just like all my other rebellious tendencies I have today I broke up the ramen noodles before cooking them for the kids to eat--I don't know whether to be depressed that I have reformed under pressure or to be thankful for my wisdom and sensibility in my 'old age'

I know, many of you don't know me personally so this probably makes no sense to you, but as a youth I swore I would never do these things out of principle, and yet slowly I have bent my rules and changed them, and it wasn't until I broke up the ramen noodles in the pan today that I realized what me breaking the ramen noodles symbolized something much bigger than simply a child friendly lunch, what exactly it symbolizes I do not know just yet, but I think it means I am growing up...what do you think?

Do you have any ways you rebelled?

I must admit, I do a few other things as simple rebellions, like eat cake and ice cream for breakfast, decorate the christmas Tree in November (my mom always insisted on waiting till closer to christmas, once we were decorating it Christmas Eve), I let my dogs on the furniture and even allow them to sleep with us (not that I want them to anymore, it just kind of worked out that way) as well as a few other things, like eating dessert before dinner and silly little things like that, but those I think I will always do, I guess only time will tell though, but that is why I posted the pics I chose, they are proof I have a rebellious side, though it is one I seldom show.