The decorations are down (well except the big Santa and reindeer in our front yard, but they aren't plugged in anymore) and safely stored away in the attic
All the treats have been eaten and New Years resolutions to lose the weight were made and already broken
no longer getting cards in the mail
life seems to be getting back to normal--which is why I have to wonder:
WHY THE HECK DO I FEEL SO STINKING OUT OF WHACK?!?!?!
I mean seriously, I seemed to be go go go and don't remember most of December, January even seemed to speed by at record speeds, now it is February and I want to know what happened. I finally get a moment to breathe and to be truthfully honest I kind of want to pull Christmas back out of the attic just so there is something to look forward to. I am currently listening to a Christmas CD I put together in College hoping that maybe I can catch a glimmer of 'EXCITEMENT' and raise my spirits a little, it doesn't seem to be working, but it was a shot.
I sit here, today has definitely been an ordinarily one. Woke up and the power was out--which of course meant my C-pap machine wasn't working, which was the first thing I noticed, then I realized the heater wouldn't be working either--on one of the coldest mornings we have had this year--and if things couldn't get any better, the cold I felt in my throat yesterday was felt throughout my body this morning
so of course I did the only thing a girl should do and spent the entire morning sitting on my couch cuddled up in blankets, the power would come back on and then go off again so while it was on I made my husband and me some cream of wheat and some nice herb tea and we sat and watched the new harry potter on his laptop in case the power went out again. I totally forgot the bug guy was coming and sure enough wasn't even 'dressed' when he got here.
Dominic's usual ride home couldn't make it today, she told me yesterday and I thought we had an alternate worked out but she called to say she was having car trouble so after a nice little fight my husband just went and got him at noon to ensure he made it home (I wasn't going to walk in the freezing cold with a cold to get him at 3--hello that is not in my nature)
so now, I did finally get a bath and dressed and have spent the rest of the afternoon listening/watching my son play with his blocks wondering to myself just why can't I get my groove back? Why do I feel so defeated? why is it that even my dog sitting beside me makes me want to chuch her out the window? the only solution I can come to is--tis that time of the year! which time of the year? you may be wondering, we already established that Christmas is over, so what am I referring to? I'm referring to the:
wake up defeated, got 2 cars in the shop needing new transmissions, cat that needs to be fixed and chipped, medical assist dog in need of further training, son threw up all weekend long, husband works too many hours/jobs, I'm stuck at home with nothing to do but sit around and mope or get up and clean, my life is in such a predictable annoying rut, when will the dang sun come out and shine announcing that spring time is here cause I am tired of waiting so instead I will listen to Christmas music to further my denial blues 'time of the year'
in past years I would just work more of even better, go shopping to suppress my frustrations with the 'too cold to go outside and do anything productive blues' but this year neither of those thigs are options--last year I piratically gutted my house of 'crap' resulting in a couple massive yard sales and then a friend helped me decorate but now that I've been there and done that I am wondering what I will find to occupy my time this year
anybody got any good suggestions on what I can do to make 'this ugly time of the year' pass by faster because my attempt to sleep it away isn't getting me anywhere
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